people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
