i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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