Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize