I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
