How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
