I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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