Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
