I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
