No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
