How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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