You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
