I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
