Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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