after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
