Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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