dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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