Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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