Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But break dance skills will only take you so far
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
