oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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