1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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