Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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