you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
