Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i have herpe
just one?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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