you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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