I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
