just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
