a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize