I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
