i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
