She said her name was "party"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
