it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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