We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The struggles of a small town man whore
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
