I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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