I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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