dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
