..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
