he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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