i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm both gender and math confused
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
