i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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