dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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