My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
