I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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