Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
