Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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