i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
