I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
