i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I intend to get homeless drunk
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
