Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
