Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
