I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
