Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize