I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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