Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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