I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
