Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
