Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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