I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
