Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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