She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize